You’re Newly Engaged. Now What?
First off, congratulations! You’re engaged! You’ve called your grandma, texted your friends, and posted the ring photo. And, of course, the first question everyone asks is “So… when’s the wedding?” You probably laugh and respond that you haven’t gotten that far! But then, when the calls quiet down and you’re sitting with your shiny new fiancé, it hits you that you’re not sure exactly where to start.
Whether you just got engaged or you’ve been sitting on it for a bit and are finally ready to plan, the early stages of wedding planning can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re planning a wedding in New York City, Connecticut, Northern New Jersey, or the Hudson Valley, where there are endless venues and styles to choose from.
Don’t worry, I’ve got you. There are a few key pieces that all tie together and form the foundation of your planning process that I would tell every newly engaged couple to start out with:
- Who – Your guest list
- Budget – What you’re comfortable spending
- When & Where – The date and venue
Once you have these figured out, the rest starts to fall into place.
Step 1: Who?
This one might sound simple, but depending on family dynamics, it can get tricky quickly. Start with just you and your partner. Build a rough guest list of the people you can’t imagine not being there. From there, think through:
Are you planning an adults-only celebration?
What’s your ideal guest count range?
Small and intimate, or larger celebration?
Once you have a working list, you can loop in parents to see if there are any “must-invites” on their end. Your guest count doesn’t need to be perfect, but having a general range will help you determine your venue size and budget. Two big pieces that come next!
Step 2: Budget
Not the most glamorous part of wedding planning, but one of the most important. Whether you’re paying for everything yourselves or family members are contributing, it’s essential to have an honest conversation early about what’s realistic. Once you know your overall budget, talk through what matters most to you both. Maybe it’s incredible food, a live band, statement floral design, or hosting your guests in an unforgettable space like Stonehill’s in Hudson Valley or Fandi Mata in Brooklyn!
Knowing your top priorities helps you decide where to splurge and where to save. A few quick tips:
The largest costs typically go to venue, catering, and rentals.
Don’t forget taxes, service fees, and gratuities that are easily forgotten but add up fast.
Leave a small buffer (around 5–10%) for unexpected expenses.
You don’t have to have it all mapped out at this point but it’s crucial to have an ideal high/low range you and your partner feel comfortable with. Your guest count and budget go hand in hand, so revisit Step 1 if the numbers start feeling tight.
Step 3: When & Where?
Having a timeframe or general season in mind will give you more flexibility when reaching out to venues. Saying “Spring 2026” instead of “June 7th” will open up many more options, especially in busy areas like Manhattan, Westchester, and Fairfield County, where venues can book out 12–18 months in advance.
It’s also worth identifying when you can’t get married. Check with close family or your wedding party for any immovable conflicts like big vacations, milestone birthdays, etc.
If you got engaged later in the year and want a shorter engagement, consider an off-peak season wedding (like winter or early spring) or non-Saturday dates. You’ll often find better rates and availability.
Your venue sets the tone for your entire celebration. It’s the backdrop for your photos, the flow of your day, and the guest experience. Here are some questions to guide your search:
What type of wedding do you envision? A black-tie affair in a Manhattan ballroom, a chic industrial Brooklyn space, or a romantic Hudson Valley vineyard?
How far are you comfortable asking guests to travel?
Is there a location that feels meaningful or personal to you both?
Do you want to host additional events like a rehearsal dinner or farewell brunch?
Start with some online research to get a feel for venues that fit your guest count and budget, but nothing replaces seeing spaces in person. Touring venues gives you a true sense of layout, lighting, and atmosphere and lets you ask about logistics like parking, rain plans, and vendor requirements. Once you find a venue that fits your budget, accommodates your guest list, matches your vision, and has your date or season available…that’s when you can celebrate again, because you’ve officially booked your wedding date!
Final Thoughts
Getting engaged is one of life’s most exciting moments but it can also feel like a lot to navigate. By starting with who, budget, when, and where, you’re laying the groundwork for a smooth, enjoyable planning journey.
And if you’re still feeling like you need support in planning your wedding, having someone who knows the local venues, vendors, and logistics can make all the difference.
Ready to start planning your dream wedding?
Learn more about working with RS Events →
